Ass Negged – Haz We Been Negative SEO ‘d ?

2015 February 7

Greetingz fellow optimizers.  Since 2011 we have been quitely dominating our SERP pages with our own version of Full Spectrum Online Dominance  (F-SOD) – but unfortunately our success has obviously been too much for some to bear, and they have applied Google’s new rules (simply link to your competeitors instead of yourselves to lower their rankings) to us!

Some @#wannabeseoclown has neg-link-wheeled us or something – see these..

we had our SEO contnet experts look over the wordy yet meaningless drivel the links are embedded into and they feel fairly certan that they have seen that style before, somewhere…

But anyway, no matter, all the successful SEO experts get negged all the time, you’re nobody until you have been negatory’d, MOZ were,  and BMW famously negatized themselves, and  from the look of the nasty spam links appearing to Climb Online they must also be under a sustained negging attack currently as only some sort of dweeb would point these links at his own domain..

Sanjay Climb Online Delhi Office Manager


Roger has now written a script that automatically Google disavows all links that he didnt spam himself, to combat our Negative attack, and then says he will be applying for the cleanup job at


…Because as he rightly says, if his pal Sanjay from the Delhi branch got in, but has since admitted  he may have gone a bit mad on the “Fiverrings” there, so theyre going to need DisAvowMagic (TM) bigtime.

Climb Online – Apprentice SEO Hero !!

2014 January 9
Climb Online SEO

with Big Daddy Sugar's SEO co

Hey y’all..  so we had return after a nearly 3 year sabbatical to post about this amazing new SEO dude who has suddenly burst (climbed ? :) ) all over the online scene with the most excellent innovative business plan and new website that is sure to revolutionize the whole SEO biz for the rest of us..

Everybody (who has their finger on the seo-pulse) must already know about “Climb Online” the new “Apprentice SEO” company (backed by that dude who fucked up Totenham Hotspur soccer club back in the 90′s the British Lord Alan Sugar (-”Big Daddy” to his friends)

But you have to admit, even their logo is awesome and really gets their message across..

The sheer brilliance of the dude’s plan is that they sell these standard generic seo plans wholesale to hundreds of customers from £400 (Sterling GBP, – $600) through to like £3000 ($6000) a month, but then outsource all the work to Indians .. :) longtime SEO gurus we have to marvel at the genus in this and why we never thought about it before..

Of course as with any successful entrepreneurs (we have expereinced this for ourselves on Digitalpoint) there will be jealousy, and naysayers a plenty, with people saying things like “will climb online work”?  and Climb online –  clueless ? plus nonsense like “your SEO is useless give me back my money” ect.

there’s also funnies starting to  appear like and intrested amatur SEOs (not pros like us) with progress journals about Climb Online, and climb online blogs, but all of us here at Optimize My Ass have full faith in this dude because of his previous business and seo expereince and CV and wish him the best of luck in his quest to “Climb Online”

Over Optimization My Ass!!!

2012 May 2
by admin

Hahaha we’re going viral, even SEO Hitler has heard of us now ! :)  and big-ups to all our Grindstone visitors, that guy is  a dude.

video here –!

apparently SEO Hitler is pi$$ed because he over-occupied his ass and got it kicked by the Penguin, we’ve said it over and over again, optmizin’ yo’ Ass is a tricky business, there can be unpleasant consequences, not just anyone can do it right..

Make sure you get the proper Asshat Optimizers

Ha! - I kick yo' Ass Hitler!

Definite BS SEO Announcement!

2012 April 10

As you may know we have been hotly debating BS SEO in the form of whether links help SERPs or not any more with the big “G”.  Some definite results are in, but we are not sure what to make of them.

Some links were definitely used in the making of this result which is now above LinkedIn, which is social media giant authority site (for Jobs or something)  But others here are arguing it was our uber-SEO’d relevance that did it, and they could obviously have a point.

BS SEO "links dont help rankings"

although these ones.. the jury is still out..


If yo’  Ass is hurtin’ – it’s pro’lly been Optimized ;)

Incoming Search Terms:

Comox valley, SEO Comox valley,  comox valley bullshit


Ass Hurts?

2012 April 9

Ass occupation can play havoc with your circadian rhythms new research has found, (and getting it highly optimized can be painful too)


point made

No BS SEO Info Update

2012 February 29

Hello again evwybody Woger here, we intewupt this bwoadcast to bwing you special update fwom Google. Today Google have announced a change to the way links are assessed to affect SERPs.

Google quote:


Link evaluation. We often use characteristics of links to help us figure out the topic of a linked page. We have changed the way in which we evaluate links; in particular, we are turning off a method of link analysis that we used for several years. We often rearchitect or turn off parts of our scoring in order to keep our system maintainable, clean and understandable.

Which is of course vewy intewesting because Reg (No BS SEO) has alweady pwooved with his extensive tests that links dont affect wankings anyway.

Hmm, what to believe..

SEO My Ass!

2012 February 20

So because of the high level of interest in Alicia’s Ass (T Shirts) – we have gone ahead and invested in more inventory and had these made, which are less about Occupying Ass and a bit more more in line with our mission here which is proper Ass hat SEO consulting

Once again if anybody would like one of these soon-to-be-classic T shirts please leave your name address and bank account details in our e-commerce cart (comments)

Occupy My Ass!

2012 February 9
by Alicia V - SEO Expert

Just a quick note to show our solidarity with the #Occupy movement 

If you would like one of our funky Occupy my Ass T-shirts leave your name in the e-commerce cart (comments) here.

thanks – Alicia v – seo expert.

Reg Relevant’s No BS SEO & Myth Busting – Links Dont Help SEO or SERP Rankings!

2012 January 30

Hello evwybody Woger Welevant here, today I have a special treat for you, a guest SEO Information lecture fwom my bwother Weg Welevant fwom

Weg has been on the web since 1894 and knows evwything about SEO, even more than me! Following on fwom my pwevious demonstration where I showed that if your content is relevant enough, you dont even need any,  today Weg is going to blow another massive BS SEO myth out of the water, the myth that links help wiv SEO!

Reg Relevant

links are rubbish!

So without any fuwther ado, I hand you over to Weg!

Thank you Roger..

Ok, first let me say..

I would use the term “Search Psychologist”.

Call me a

Search User Psychologist (in)Engine Ranking. (SUPER)


I have never seen such confusion out of supposed “experts”.

Linking is not SEO. Social Networking is not SEO.

..Everybody says to focus on great content.

And that is a good idea. But it is not really right.  The focus should be on how the content is presented.

I am of the opinion that there are set reactions and a definite “Relevance Theory”.

“I have already proved (to myself at least)., that links have no effect, so my watching of the results is fairly accurate.”

I think people should understand that there are other methods of marketing other than search.

Optimizing your pages plays a major part in SEO, but it has it’s place in the general scheme to things. Not everything referred to as SEO is actually SEO.

One needs to look at the whole marketing picture from signs in your car’s window to social networking, to print ads, to whatever you can think of.

“No links other than the tweet and resulting retweets were made.”

Also results from a campaign running 1/4 page ads in Toronto Suburbs’ newspapers for seminars on investing in the money markets. Seminars were 2 days and $1800 for one and $2600 for a couple. Groups were limited to 20. Membership was sold in a site where you could watch the “master” make live trades.


You can’t be an expert in that short of time, but you *could* master one aspect.

You NEVER stop learning. It is most interesting.

Just as soon as you think you can relax, Google throws another curve ball, even just online is enough to keep up with.

I have some stats from running a removable sign in the back window in Toronto traffic and on the highway, if anyone is interested.


I have a new ( – May 15th 2010), website that I have been tracking closely.

In spite of my site jumping to PR4, my search results for “organic search engine optimization training” stayed at #2 out of about a million competing sites.

Another factor that swings me to the dissociation of PR and search positions is that a low or even 0PR page can be in a better position than a a page ranking higher.

Last week I noticed that the Page Rank went from 0 to 4

I also have another website, that also has a PR4.  Fantastic has been around since the internet was only 4 computers and has built up an organic following of over 5000 websites.


I think we can now say without fear that linking projects will not show the same results, and that Page Rank and search standings are distinctly separate.

If you would like to read about my testing regarding the effects of link building

“The history of a SEO linking test.”

is on my site

Page Rank has no discernible effect on search position.

The amount and quality of the inbound links is not the determining factor in Page Rank.

Link building will increase traffic and in the right circumstances, PR, but will not affect search positioning.

Search results are mainly achieved with relevance and on page work.

20-02-2012 – BS SEO Update

reg BS SEO

- 3 links had NOTHING to do with this moving from pos #20 to pos #4 in three weeks..

here we can see that although this post has moved from position 20 to position 4, this was entirely unwelated to the 3 or 4 links pointed at it.

If in the next few months it should happen to move higher for this or any other “BS SEO” phrases that nobody searches for,  that will also not be anything to do wiv people linking at it, it will obviously be because it is the most welavent and well pwesented information on the subject and the  WeTweets it weceived..  …although if we are being swtictly scientific in our testing,  according to the counter below it doesnt seem to have got any yet.


Swamp Ass – SEO Arse Kicking Contest!

2011 May 3
by admin
Swamp Ass

Alicia says she has these at $39.99

Ok kiddies now we are indeed kicking SEO Ass bigtime I saw a competion today on some dude’s blog and thought the Optimize My Ass team of SEO gurus would come and say “Hi” :)

Apparently only new domains are allowed but well as we are Ass Hat SEO specialists we might be able to get some consulting work from the pubicity anyway.

And as they picked my grandaddy’s favourite term “Swamp Ass” as the keyowrd, well I’m doing it for him. (note how I bolded the word this will help with my pagerank)- When granpops used to say it though he was talking about some girl he knew I think so I don’t know what the SEO competition mean, maybe it’s the same girl :)

anyway thats all for now we’ll see your swamp asses in the SERPs.