I am usually pretty unshakable in my conviction and my own abilitity but I have been seriously wonedering lately whether Inertnet Marketing is actyually my calling as I once thought. (I cannot even be bothered to do my 4 hours a day on DP keeping up with all the seo events and pagerank updates anymore either)

And when I look at my blog stats I can see  that mainly..

1. I have NOT been making money online
2. that the people who have been reading my blog are a bunch of perverts.

If I wanted to go into the *Pron* (have to mispell  it because I dont want the situation to deterate any further) business I would have made a good start with my Ohio Marketing Blog, just take a look at what the all pervs are looking for!

Now I believe I am fairly worldly-wise for my age but this ass obsession has taken over my website, I am not getting any traffic at all for Internet Marketing Ohio, and I am swamped with ass traffic. (although not in the way Im sure some of these bandits are if you get my drift )

There is nothing in my stats at all thats any use to me, (although my mom says “Number #7 and #9 would not be misrepresentation” but I need to look that up to see what she means I think she is just trying to be nice because I’m her son.

So anyway I’m feeling pretty bummed out about my seo carer right now..

BUT I met this guy at Jeff’s Bar who says he’s onto the next big thing and if we move quickly we can make a killing-  Real Estate.

I’ll keep you posted, maybe I’;ll do some real estate SEO while I am at it and double my market share

Take care for now

Dwayne.

Oh and to my doubters, the same to you as my searchers..

“Suck my ass!”

Please subscribe and checkback because you will not want to miss this

.

This week I will share with you some of my favourite SEO forums, these are the places all “T3h R34L ExP3RtZ” are all hanging, and you can learn SEO by the bucketload there.

.

• Digitalpoint of course. although the dumb noobs are starting to irate me a little now, I mean sheesh if you don’t what the Google sandbox is by now, ..but I suppose we all had to start somewhere.

• Lovingtech.net/forums/ this is a great new forum where they really make you feel welcome, thanks guys
  

For the moment that is all, although I am sure there are many more if you look.

Otherwise things are going well at Jack’s yard so I can soon afford to get into SEM by using Adwords on my blog to get traffic. I can already afford $8.75 per week and am sure that with that many clicks I will get at least one SEO client, watch this space for updates.

]]> http://www.optimize-my-ass.com/2009/05/top-seo-forums/feed/ http://www.optimize-my-ass.com/2009/04/does-wordpress-suck/ http://www.optimize-my-ass.com/2009/04/does-wordpress-suck/#comments Sat, 25 Apr 2009 18:06:06 +0000 admin http://www.optimize-my-ass.com/?p=148 I was reading this dude’s blog this afternoon and he had some good qulaity content on there but then I saw this post that really surprised me about how Wordpress sucks ??!

I mean I know it’s not perfect but really the dude needs to chill. All the things that he has stated are bad are what everybody likes about it!

..and  Typepad is very gay.

He seems to realy know about blogging for a 13 year old and has 20,000 hits a day, but dude youre going to be burned out if you take life so seriously..

<–Take a chill pill and shout me up on DP if you want me to guest blog for you maybe I could show you some stuff about Wordpress that would change yur mind

Dwayne.

]]> http://www.optimize-my-ass.com/2009/04/does-wordpress-suck/feed/ http://www.optimize-my-ass.com/2009/04/google-webmaster-tools/ http://www.optimize-my-ass.com/2009/04/google-webmaster-tools/#comments Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:16:06 +0000 admin http://www.optimize-my-ass.com/?p=135 Is really quite somthing these days, I have been studying the inside of it carefully for days now.

My site indexing problem appears to have resolved it as you can see from the screenshots I have taken from WMT (what the pros call it ) howver I am a little worried about the focus of the type of traffic I seem to be attracting..

:-/

..Then you can see the Big G’s insatiable spiderbots  (I envisage them like those spiders out of “Minority Report, do you? ) anyway they succumbed to the quality content here and just had to re-index me again and the traffic starts to flow..

hahaha “plug what” ? OMFG dude.

Then last week it really came back strong.

But as I said I am ever so slightly concerned that the traffic coming here is not my target audience of discerning Ohio Internet Marketing Professionels I am targeting here.

Really people what is it with the ass obsession? ..what do some of those things even mean?

..the name was supposed to be a joke you know, not like, define the blog’s whole purpose.

“Index my ass” though,  ..thats funny man that was me 3 weeks ago, aand “SEO edge on Crack” you have got to be kidding me that’s a great name, I wish I’d thought of it..

I am “the SEO edge on Crack dude, and don’t you forget it mofo!! “ 

If you look at the Google toolbar you can see that I am now a proud PR2 blog owner. In my Google Webmaser Tools panel it says my site is indexed. It shows me some few links I have.

It shows me the top searches I have shown below and theres some pretty decent ones there.

And then when I do the pro SEO trick the site: search I get this!! Man I am so pi$$ed !!! ? !

Man I am #21 for “Niche Domination” with a goddamn invisible website!! I mean WTF? The money I’m making must be invisible too because I’m working super-hard down at Jack’s yard to subsidize my online business at the moment too.

Dougie says it’s the new Google sandbox and that I might have been “950′d” (pro SEO term ) because my blog was too super-optimized following my training with him, but i dont think so.

No wonder no-one has commented yet I am the invisible blogger.

And so I look at my blog this morning and it’s been awarded Google Pagerank PR1

but then I look again and I’m not even in Google’s bloody index?!! not a single f**in page!!

not even any trace of my unique keyword number one from a few weeks back..

Man I am so pi$$ed at Google now it’s not funny. I think they are scared because me and Dougie finally cracked the latest alog again this weekend while we were at the Taco Bell.

Yahoo has it right, I think I will tell all my firends to use them instead its a far more reliable service obviously.

I just received my first natural link from some dude who liked my blog I can see it in my dashboard now.

I will share this strategy with you as it may work for you too.. Blog comments of course!!

When you comment on a guys blog if he likes your comment he will probably come look at your blog (from the link you leave in the url box) and if you have high enough quality content he will most likely want to link to you..  so simple but so effective ! 

<<---- and while we’re on the subject..

Well I have news for you haters, not everybody who starts up a make money online blog is a “dumbf***” (and I would normally swear here but my mom reads this) noob!

Some of us have an overall search engine strategy and our blogs are just our vehicles to get us further down the road.

Anyway none of this will matter soon as I am currently negotiating terms for transfer of 5500 DP sig links from Barney D in exchange for me letting him date my sister Britney and not kicking his ass any more.

Dougie says 55 hundred of them babies will put me easy Pagio Uno for Inert Marketing Ohio - no problems and then I will not even need to monetize my blog and will be able to just do SEO consultancy instead.

How do you like them apples?

There are a lot of SEOs for sure but there arent very many qualified ones

And to all you doubters, go build links.

…as we all know there’s more to SEO than certificates

And while I was optimizin’ my ass I added the Dofollow plugin because I am sure that’s why my 19 hits so far haven’t commented.  ..Well actually some of them probably weren’t looking for my sort of content - I may have to change the name if that becomes too much of a problem, but I am definitely looking to improve conversions in the future.

So this blog is now proudly Dofollow please do leave your mark if youre passing by, drop in and get a linkbut can you make sure that the comments are relevant please I don’t want people to dilute my keyword density rankings with off topic comments

ok thanks until next time.

LISTS THEM ALL ON DP SO EVRYONE WILL KNOW THIS STUFF NOW!!

..nice one pal.  jees, just as you get an edge..!!  </rant>

Anyway I suppose this is how you have to roll with the punches in the cut & thrust business world of competitive blogging webmasering & SEO.

My rankings have also slipped one place in the critical allinurl:”internet marketing Ohio” search so I obviously need to get more quality links, and I keep getting banned from Craigslist so a new plan is needed.  I need to get me “SMO” qualified now too.

SMO or Social Media Optimization is the future and the course is only $395 for a one day course to make me an SMO master as well as SEO) ..but Dougie is still busy for a few days reverse engineering Google’s latest algorythm at the moment anyway so I need to wait because SMO is easy to get wrong if you dont know how to do it..

“The Art of promoting without Promoting..”

…as Bruce Lee would have said if he was an SEO - which he definitely would have been because he was way cool and a great businessman